She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
