I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
