She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
