can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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