Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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