Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
