Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
