why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
well you can't waste a boner
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
