Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
