idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
