Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
