guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize