dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
