Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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