Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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