I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
