i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize