Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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