Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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