He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize