did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
