It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize