You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's the barista slut.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
