i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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