he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Randomize
