I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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