And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
