Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
