Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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