walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
