So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
