we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
