I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
