Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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