You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
