Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
