doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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