You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
