PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
