I wish I only lived at night.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
