How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
