new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
