she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
