I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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