haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
