almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
