I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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