have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
