I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
