Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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