Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
