His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
