Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
