I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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