I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
