hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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