in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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