That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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