Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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