sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he thought i was a dude.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
