I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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