Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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